For well over a year now, Joey and I have been sending our HP Notebook back and forth to HP’s repair center for repairs. It is the same problem every time: the mother board fails, and the wifi adapter is no longer recognizable by the system. The first couple times this happened, I called the toll-free technical support number. This was a HUGE mistake. Their support center is based in India, and while everyone speaks English, I personally find Indian accents the hardest to understand of all the accents I hear on a daily basis. I also was too ignorant/passive to request a replacement product these times (curse my sheepish nature!). By the time I realized that was what I needed, it was too late and I was only eligible to receive repairs.
The most recent time (about a week ago) I decided to try to escalate our issue again, and managed to get all the way up to a “case manager”. She also told me I couldn’t get a replacement. I found this to be especially ridiculous after my case manager told me with shipping, parts, and labor, each repair costs them roughly $600. I only paid $800 for the piece of junk computer to begin with. The woman was nice enough to send me a recovery disc, so I could make sure it wasn’t a software issue this time.
I received the disc a day earlier than I expected, and thought that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have to tell the world how awful Hewlett Packard and its products were. Unfortunately, even as I ran the recovery disc my computer froze. Filled with a deeper sense of dread than I can ever remember having before this, I attempted to chat with a technician on their website. Inefficient, but at least there are no accents to deal with!
Surprise, surprise, the tech support chat is down. I want to scream. I actually do scream, but internally (as I stated…passive ol’ me). After I’ve calmed down a bit, I contact them via an email form. Here is the reply (it is addressed to Joey, because the craptop is registered to him):
Thank you for writing back.
Joseph, as you have mentioned that the notebook freezes even after performing the system recovery with the recovery kit which has been sent from HP to isolate whether the issue is hardware related or software related.
Hence the issue might be due to internal hardware malfunction of the notebook, and requires onsite diagnosis by a specialised technician. Hence I request you to send the notebook to HP. In order to send the notebook to HP, please complete the information below so that we can process your request for the mail-in repair service:
Hence, I am wondering hencely how many times one person needs to use hence in one hencing email. Also, note the peculiar spelling of “specialized” and “on-site”. Apparently HP needs to send their spellchecker off for repairs as well.
The moral of this story is don’t buy a damned HP computer, even if your life depends on it. Or at least buy the product replacement plan if available from your retailer.