Mar 192009
 

>by: Aron Deppert
Bible Buffet was released in 1993 by some publisher called “Wisdom Tree”, and wasn’t licensed by Nintendo (something you’d almost never see these days). The game played a lot like the red-headed stepchild of Bomberman and Mario Party.
You start out by pressing A to spin the wheel, which determines how many spaces you can advance or go back. Once you land on a space, you must complete a small Bomberman-like level where your goal is to collect as much food as you can without getting killed by the other crazy pieces of food running around. You are armed, however, with several pieces of cutlery you can hurl (knife, spoon, fork-each one behaves a little differently) and exploding barrels


Your path through the Bible Buffet

As you can see on the board above, you will work your way through several differently themed lands. Veggie world is the first, and shortest, which I think serves as unintentional commentary the nutrition habits of most American families. In Veggie Land you battle walking tomatoes as you scamper around, frantically collecting as much broccoli and cauliflower as you can. Each piece you collect adds to the weight tally at the top of the screen. I was never able to figure out if that was how much food I was carrying, or how much weight I had gained, though I would assume the later of the two to be true.

During my stay in Veggie Land, my weight was only 213 pounds! The Bible Buffet diet works!

I had a few more uneventful stops before I finally met some peril in Bread Land. It took several hurls of my knife to disable to rabid flour sacks, and I even had to avoid the searing hot columns of steam from the oven! YIKES! I had to complete the last square in Bread World, which was actually the most difficult I had faced so far…and the exit was guarded by two very tough sentries who were impervious to my flatware!


The vicious sneers on the Wonder Bread Twins face was scarier than their huge knife.

The rest of my trip was uneventful, until somewhere near Pizza Land I was presented with a POP QUIZ?! “WTF?” I asked myself as I stared at an answer sheet where I was supposed to mark true or false in response to some questions. But there were no questions on the screen! I gasped, I screamed, I put my hands on my cheeks like the little kid in Home Alone…I didn’t know what to do! So I did a little research and found the questions are in the instruction manual, which I obviously don’t have. These questions are also the sole Bible references associated with the game.

Surprisingly I answered all three correctly just by guessing, and landed on the shortcut in Bar-B-Q Land, bypassed Freezer Land all together, and landed in Snack Land. That square was completed with ease, and after a couple more spins I found myself in the best Land on the whole board…Fruit Land, also known as SAN FRANSISCO.

San Fransisco, Land of the Fruits
All in all, the remainder of my voyage through the Bible Buffet was anti-climatic. At the end I was given awards, just like in Mario Party. I won first to finish, and most food collected, which really wasn’t a surprise since I was the only one playing the game. The game wasn’t the buffet of Bibles as I had hoped, and the title implied, but it was an interesting time waster despite all this.


Image Credit: Screenshot, en.wikipedia.org

  2 Responses to “Bible Buffet for NES – Surprisingly Bible-free”

  1. >It's not how much weight you have gained, though we all thought that as kids, too. Found out later it was how much you'd collected for a food drive to feed the needy or something.

  2. >Ah…thanks for clearing that up. That fits the theme for the game too!

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