Jul 162007

Disclaimer: The following rant is not directed at all Christians, just the weird ones.

A new guy at work just moved to Bloomington from a smaller town that is about 300 miles from here. Before he started, he told me he was going to need every Sunday off because he drove back home to attend church, because he was the one who lead the singing and dancing portion of their services.

I’m fine and dandy with that, because Sunday is the shortest day of the week I can work. But it seems like in the upcoming weeks, this guy has some things that conflict with his church schedule. Today he expressed to me that he was concerned if he missed too many church services, his church would fire him. He didn’t think getting fired from a “religious job would look very good in the next life”.

That statement flabbergasted me. I haven’t been in church for a long time now (and I never was much of a believer in all that stuff to begin with), but during the 6 or 7 years I was attending church regularly, they never said anything about needing good references to get into heaven. Is there a resume required now to gain admittance? I can imagine the scene now: St. Pete at the pearly gates, squinting at a computer monitor displaying information from careerbuilder.com. He looks up at one of god’s faithful with a frown on his face.

“Sorry,” he says. “You’re not listed as rehirable from the last church you went to. I’m afraid it’ll have to be the lake of fire for you.”

What utter poppycock.

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