I got a new phone yesterday. Those of you who know me may not think of that as a big deal, since I usually try to stay pretty current on mobile technology. But when I was setting up my contact list, I did do something that is a big deal (at least to me): I deleted my brother’s phone number.
My brother has been dead for two years, four months, and ten days. I have been clinging to his phone number like I might actually need it again ever since the night I heard the awful news. For some reason, it seemed like getting rid of those ten digits would make me feel like he was out of my life for real.
It’s strange to me how relieved I am to be rid of his phone number. It’s like it was the last thing truly holding me back from having some sort of closure. Strange how his phone number meant so much to me after Matthew’s death, when I used it so little during his life.