Jun 242006
 

A couple days ago a woman called me at the store to ask me if she could exchange two pairs of Heelys (the only shoe with the removable wheel in the heel! ™) without a receipt. I told her that normally that goes against our posted return policy, but if she picked stuff that totaled the same price or more, and I could verify they hadn’t been worn, I would be glad to help her out.

She showed up today, Heelys in tow inside of a target bag. She explained her situation to me, and I indicated that I was the one she spoke to on the phone. As she stood there, I opened the first box to inspect the shoes for signs of wear. Much to my surprise, the Heelys were very dirty on the bottom, and the yellow sticker that says IF YOU PEEL THIS OFF YOU CAN’T SUE US IF YOU DIE, which we always leave on the shoe, was halfway worn off…almost as if someone had walked a whole bunch in them.

I opened the second pair and was greeted by similar tell-tale signs of wear, which included several blades of grass lodged in the tread.

“Are you sure neither of these have been worn,” I asked her.

“No. They never wore them,” she reaffirmed.

At this point, I remembered helping her kids very well. They did, in fact, wear the shoes out of the store. I installed the wheels for them myself. Her oldest son nearly fell down and cracked his head open on his way out of the store. I recounted this story to the customer.

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“No, I’m just stating a fact.”

“I don’t want them! You can keep the god damned things!” She bellowed this at me as she shoved the shoes at me so hard they slid off the counter and onto the floor. She then stormed out of the store in a tizzy.

I love my job.

  One Response to “Dumb bitch, Part Deux”

  1. Damn, that’s a great one.

    Similiar situation. Mike was up at reg the other day and a lady walked up with two books in hand and asked if she could return them with no receipt. Mike said as long as they were in new condition and we did in fact sell them, that yes, she could have store c. “They’ve never even been opened,” she said, seeming pleased…

    Until Mike opens the books. One was a Cliffsnote for whatever the actual book was. In both cases, both were trashed with highlighting and notes in the margins. Mike shook his head, “Sorry ma’am, I cannot take these.”

    He loved it. Though it wasn’t nearly as good as the customer he got to turn around and walk away from, and then informeed him that we didn’t need ‘his type’ in the store, because the jackass was calling our cafe supervisor a bitch because HE ran a stop sign and almost hit her.

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