Jun 092006
 

Someone sent this to me on MySpace a couple days ago. I thought it was very good. Parts in bold are sarcasam. (^_^)

#1 Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

#2 Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

#3 Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

#4 Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

#5 Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

#6 Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

#7 Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That’s why we only have one religion in America.

#8 Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

#9 Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

#10 Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

#11 Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

#12 Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

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