Yesterday I was leaving the mall and I saw this cat beside the road. He looked at me and meowed. I couldn’t really hear the meow because my windows were up, the A/C was on, and my new CD by The Strokes was playing as loudly as I could handle. Even though I couldn’t hear the kitty’s vocalization, I immediately began to imagine it as sad and lonely sounding — filled with longing. In my mind I could hear the stray’s voice (in English of course) begging me to take him home with me. “All I want is four squares and somewhere high and warm to snooze bub. Can you help me out,” he asked.
“Stupid cat,” I mumbled to myself as I snapped out of my reverie, mostly due to the fact that I had just nearly run a red light due to my daydreaming. I glanced up into the rear-view mirror to catch sight of the man opereating the car behnd me. Either he was singing along to some death metal CD or he was yelling at me for being a careless driver. I decided that the later was more likely to be true, considering the busy intersection whose integrity I had nearly violated. Suddenly, the angry, balding man began pointing up frantically. I glanced up at the traffic signal just in time to watch it tick over from yellow to red. It then occured to me that the driver in the vehicle behind me had been screaming for me to go, and while I had been staring at him I managed to miss the green light. Now completely emberassed, I stared only at the signal until it changed green again, and I advanced slowly through the intersection to continue on my homeward trek.
Now only two blocks from my humble abode, something large and black passed through my peripheral vision. A UFO! That was the only logica explaination for what I saw. Just as I was about to roll down my window and beg the aliens to beam me up, I remembered I was driving. I shifted my attention back to the task at hand and realized I was home, parked, and sitting with the car idling and my seatbelt on.
You are SO lucky you don’t have to drive on the same roads as me.